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[22 Sep 2003|11:13am] |
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mood |
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you are neurotic and depressed |
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music |
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it doesnt mean that youre sad. |
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San Francisco makes my soul ache.
After a deliciously depressing sob session while hiding in the back of my car while driving home, I silently gloated, like crying is some kind of amazing party trick that only I am capable of.
Mostly, I simply realized that once again, I'm human.
AND I'm happy.
All...better?
I am in love with Lauren, unconditionally. And I love michele and jeremy, even if I don't treat them accordingly.
-The epitonome of san francisco. Hips that could cut glass. Jacket slung over shoulder. Walking as only I do down Van Ness. Smoking...but in the rare way of actually becoming more attractive. I'm going to marry him someday.
-Renee. Homeless breast cancer patient lauren and I met at union square. She had a cat named wally. She smiled at little kids when they walked by. I guess I understand.
-Pic-a-nicking in golden gate park, while the Zen and Now Fest went on a few feet away. Seal was playing while we ate. Yes, he played kiss by a rose. Yes, this was amusing as fuck.
-Talking to strangers. Having dance parties to Hilary Duff in the disney store til I was all danced out. Having hang-the-spoon-on-your-nose contests against the old men at the table across from us at mel's.
-Sad smiles. Always sad smiles.
-The scent of cool water. The left lion at the gates of chinatown. The pin-up waitress staring at me through the window. Two songs from his funeral played in a row at dennys on the way home. All my innards collapsing to my stomach then shooting up to my throat, where they are expelled through silent sobs.
-They broke up.
-Fog so thick the pond disappeared.
-All-over body aches. Being sore in ways I didn't know were possible. From climbing vertical hills to better things.
Being completely content with the current state of things.
Being very, very sorry.
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[13 Aug 2003|01:22pm] |
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mood |
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inthemoodtofeedducks |
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Someone BETTER take me to feed the ducks today!
If I dont feed them, who will?
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| mameresaysshesthankfulforlauren |
[11 Aug 2003|11:00pm] |
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music |
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bring on the major leagues |
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Disappointment.
I mean,
I even starched the pleats in my skirt.
Effort, for once.
Too bad my eye sockets are clogged so no eye juice can flow.
It's just gonna fill me up and I'm going to drown from the inside.
So I stay afloat using diner grub and film.
I'll be better in the morning.
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[02 Aug 2003|07:14pm] |
Dude,
I smell like Orange County.
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[29 Jul 2003|09:49am] |
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You'll feel better when you cannot feel.
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[20 Jul 2003|05:11pm] |
I've never felt this wrong.
I want to disappear for awhile.
(please dont let me disappear)
I didnt belong there anyway.
I'm sure I'm the only ColdStone worker in history to quote Tim Kasher in their resignation letter.
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| crawling can be beautiful. |
[29 Apr 2003|11:27pm] |
Friends only.
Cause, yeah...
But I'm in love with you.
So I'll add you.
If you ask.
exes and ohs!
natali
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| I love the sound of those tight pants. |
[23 Apr 2003|11:50am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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murder city devils-broken glass |
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And this, kids, is why you don't give marvelous gifts of overhead projectors to dorks like myself.
And I swear I would have taken the pictures of someone else, but I was the only one in my room at the time. I'm very very sorry.
I hate myself already.
( Read more... )
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